I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
be right there i have to get my cape
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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