he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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