epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
