drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.