Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"

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(731): View more from Tennessee

He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(520): View more from Arizona

We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips

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(909): View more from California

No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.

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