Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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