Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.