i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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