Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
