It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
