if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
