hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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