hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
organizing the empties. That sober.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
