The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
