Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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