I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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