Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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