Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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