I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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