so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
