Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize