Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
