Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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