I wanna passion pit in your ass
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Randomize
