Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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