Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
