you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
