Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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