i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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