her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
