and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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