Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
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Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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