I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Randomize