Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
