Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
