Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
