so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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