We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
