I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
