and you said cock pushups were impossible
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
