dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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