in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
In America we eat man semen.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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