You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i barfeds in our rink
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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