Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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