Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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