Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I FOUND THE LEGS
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
