That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
