Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
