i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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