Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
