Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
