bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize