i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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