Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
