I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
