the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize