did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
