He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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