He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
false alarm. still invincible.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
