If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
