the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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