Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
