areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
