Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
