yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Congratulations! We have a period
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
