Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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